No. 6: She gave me everything

The Lanyard - Billy Collins
(click title above to hear Billy Collins read this poem on PBS)

The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

Included in the FORTHCOMING book (OCT 2005), The Trouble with Poetry. Purchase from Amazon (here).

No.5: Her lullabies

My mother use to sing us to sleep with her peaceful, beautiful voice. I remember her standing the doorway to our rooms, leaning against the wall or door frame with her arms crossed and a look of peace on her face. (Probably thinking, "Thank God I have all four of these kids in bed and the same time!") But only her songs came across to us in a soft gesture of peaceful sleep.

No.4: Her Quest for Natural Foods

Stockhouse's Farm Market

My grandmother was in a constant quest searching for what was best in her diet. She was a tiny, healthy, energized woman with a fridge full of homemade, handmade simple freshness. My mother is the same way. If she can't grow it or buy it local is it worth buying? She usually does not think so. Nearly everything in our home growing up was hand made, or least I thought... Now her house is full of natural foods from her garden: dried beans, jars of corn and tomatoes (in various forms), jams, a plethora of soups, and on and on. I love going to eat at her house because everything is natural and healthy and full of a mothers goodness.

No.3: Her dedication to plants

My mother is a Master Gardener. She has a beautiful piece of property, along with my father, on an Island in the Columbia river where she grows amazing vegetables and flowers.

As a child we always had the most beautiful yard on the block. All due to my mothers schemes and sketches of what she wanted next. All her planning is paying off as she now sleeps across the street from her 11 acres of plants that need the care and attention she so willingly gives them.

No.2: She's Smart

This is my mothers senior photo.

(Isn't she adorable? I have carried this in my wallet for possibly 15 years? 20? I love it sitting there for me to stumble upon over and over as I walk through all stages of my life. She is beautiful and so smart.)

My mother graduated from high school and never went on to pursue a higher degree. Yet, through years of commitment and hard work, she earner her way to a highly successful position in the extremely competitive, male-dominated, technology industry. She retired from Intel several yeas ago as an Operations Manager. That is huge. It takes determination, will and pure smarts to be successful with such a job description. My mother made it happen despite her competition: Males with degrees from Universities. She is smart.

No. 1: Her Laughter

I love my mothers laugh. She has always had a contagious laugh that turns into tears of joy. I remember being so young and having family tickle fights. My mother would just hold her hands above me, not nearly touching my skin, and I would howl. The best part was seeing her face looking back at me and listening to her laughter. We were all so happy just tickling and being a family.